To Hell With Socks

I have been accused by some people of being good at everything.  To them I say, I am sorry I have not been taking photos of my sock attempts.  They have been absolutely awful.

The basic pattern I'm working from (The Complete Idiot's Guide to Knitting Projects Illustrated) calls for several inches of ribbed stitch on three double needles.  Not a problem.  It's just like a hat, only tiny.  I will say working on tiny double needles in a tiny circle makes me feel like I'm all thumbs.  There must be some organized way to hold the needles so they don't stick out in all directions, but I haven't discovered it yet.  Anyhow, since I'm only making a sample sock, I'm not making the full length the pattern calls for.  I'm only doing an inch or two just to get down to the heel which is where I have no clue what's going on and need practice.

Attempt #1 was the worst by far.  I so wish I took a picture of it before I ripped it out in a huff.  I got all turned around turning the heel and had slipped stitches on the outside where they don't belong in all sorts of places.  I did it again two or three times down the heel flap and had all sorts of silly ridges in it.  It finally occurred to me that it didn't look right and I finally realized which pattern of stitches goes with which side of the sock.  Didn't even realize that was important.  I also realized somewhere along the line I came up with several extra stitches I wasn't supposed to have.

Attempt #2 had an even shorter leg, but I got the heel flap correct.  All the needles have the appropriate number of stitches.  Time to try "working the heel."  I had to review what "slip slip knit" meant, but all the other instructions made sense.  Until I ran out of loops on one needle and I still had three stitches left to make.  This can't be right.

Attempt #3 - I know how to make a sock leg, I know (now) how to make a heel flap, I don't want to do it again.  So I rip back just into the end of the heel flap before all the weird "working the heel" rows and try it again.  Same result, not enough stitches on one side.  I begin to think there is an error in the pattern.

Attempt #4 - Again I rip back just into the heel flap, and try altering the first couple of numbers in the pattern.  I think it looked sort of like what it was supposed to, but it was still too far to one side.  I am now very suspicious of the pattern and begin to look through the others in the book for confirmation. But I just don't know enough how the pattern is supposed to work to determine if it's wrong.  Am frustrated to the point that I rip out the entire sock.

Attempt #5 - New pattern. Faceted Rib Socks from The Little Box of Socks.  (I bought this a couple of years ago at the craft store because it was on clearance, though I had NO idea what it entailed.  Just looked cool.  It's not a book, but a box full of cute little cards, each with an adorable sock pattern.)  The pattern card says it's "perfect for a new sock knitter" - that's definitely me.  I fight through learning the special cast on it calls for, only to discover it's so similar to the one I already do that I give up trying to figure out how they're different and just do mine.  Uh oh, this one also calls for a slip slip knit but has an instruction card.  Based on what it says I'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG THE WHOLE TIME. *facepalm* 

Which is probably why I kept running out of stitches earlier.

So, now I have to go back and try the Idiot pattern again, because apparently I AM an idiot.